How Is Your Antiquity?

This is the first of my backtrack series. Originally posted July 4, 2006 15:37.

Here we recollect how I hated my Achilles heel, the Engineering Drawing Subject.

***

In fact, if it be the very scale for placing humans in a certain heirarchy, I think I can be at the bottom of that.

Professor in ES 100: Okay, row 1, submit your plates. I want to check them now. 
I'm a member of that row, and I was the first one to get to his table.
Professor in ES 100: Turn it to page 1-5.
Me: Sir, here it is.
He looks at the work in a way that would make me think of him coming up with an impossible, unbelievable judgment.
Professor in ES 100: A milimeter blot, a wrong curve, and, did I tell you slant Gothic letters? It was straight Gothic! Look at your guidelines, they are too thick. Practice lettering.
He places his signature on the work and grades 40 in it.


What the--? A 40? I spent two hours of the night for that single plate and a 40 'deserved' my work? Im not from the ancient time! How is a civilized work for a 40?

Iskul Bukol

In a few weeks' time, I'd be off to low. You know, school stuff. I need to take care of my requirements for graduation. I have a lot; It's my fault that I didn't make the necessary arrangements prior to this.

For the mean time, I would have Timed Future Posts -- a series of blog posts that I made on my previous Bloggers, Wordpresses, Tumblr, LiveJournal, Freindster Blog and Tabulas -- all about random school stuff to remind me of the different things and sacrifices that I have gone past for the last 5 years.

It is boring (like, I KNOW!) but it is just some sort of retrospection. It comprises part of the happiest years of my life and I hope that if someone reads it, they will learn something about me, at the least, if not about life and priceless school lessons.

The Man I Became

Inadvertently, I was beating the bass drum with the drumstick. He beckoned me so I can take glimpse of the sliding motion with the stick's head. Having two drum sets in the house is technically noisy and incommodious. He was sweating, he asked my youngest sibling to fetch a towel while still making invisible half-notes in the air. My father never had a proper music class training but I admire how he learned to write notes for his drum rips.

"Okay, ganito yan Joe, lalagyan mo ng friction para magawa mo yung tunog pero bago ka mag-half note itatas mo na yung stick kasi nagva-vibrate pa yung string sa baba, kaya may tunog pa rin. Subukan mo," then he would beat my stick so I could tap out just in time. "Yon! Nakuha mo, sige ulitin mo yan hanggang mag-chorus, tapos 'yung dalawang tom tapos yung cymbals sa kanan."

He is a perfectionist. He should be, after working for almost ten bands in more than twenty years. Being the only son, he wanted me to follow his track. I needed to learn how to play the violin, piano, drums, saxophone, lead and bass guitars.

A consequence of his job is to be abroad most of the time. According to my Psychology professor, the absence of an older male figure in a boy's early years paves way to the boy's attraction to other boys. Attention was pivotal to gender accountability. This is how I became. It was, probably, because of him.

I never deprive him of the right to be lauded, though. He is my greatest music mentor. He worked for us to live decently. He never lacked for our provisions. He is the best man that I know. To me, he is the greatest drummer. He is the second best provider, next to Him. He is my father.

We barely speak for the past years. Maybe, because I don't know what else to say whether on the phone or at home. We were never tie-close. In the course of time maybe he too, noticed that I was dodging conversations with him. To me there was little to talk about.  I always admire those cool father-son relationships I see on TV, wishing I also have that to brag. I always had hope that we will reach a point when both of us will engage in a conversation not relating to music or school, to give us a tighter bond. He is getting older and so am I. But these never materialized. There are what-ifs.

There are a few ocassions wherein I could have told him this but there is a brevity in the courage of my tongue to release the words. Words which might have been the only thing that he needs to hear to weaken our differences, if not erase them:.

I love you, Pa.

The Last First Day Anxiety

After nine semesters and one summer session in college, tomorrow, I will finally face my last first day under graduation.

I will, for the last time, be going from Ortigas to the other end of Edsa for me to get to school. I will, for the last time, curse my alarm for betraying me. I will, for the last time, take the long path to the Engineering building with great stress. I will, for the last time, treat the library as a refuge should lazy afternoons come. I will, for the last time, swipe my ID card or try bailing on the security guard in cases I'd forget it. I will, for the last time, eat in a school canteen. I will, for the last time, write down notes for the benefit of exams. I will, for the last time, feel anxious about knowing new faces and be eaten alive by the greatness of what is ahead of me.

I still remember, though not vividly, my first day in college. I was brimming with confidence. I knew that I was smarter than any other student in that classroom. I may have failed UPCAT but I passed ACET with great grades. In that UPCAT vs ACET thing, they say ACET is harder. I had that fact sitting side-by-side my technical pencil, T-square, tracing tube, Algebra and Trigonometry textbooks, and what-not.

The first exams came. The professor calls the names from the person who got the highest score and so on. "Mr. Joe Green Breaker?" the fat professor asked. I stood with eyes transfixed on the paper she was holding, and neck up tight. I was proud of myself. The professor said, "You are the second one, in fifteen years, who got my first exam for Algebra perfectly." The classroom gave out small gasps and I got furtive looks. The professor tapped me in the right shoulder. "We need members for the Math Geeks, I would love to see your face in the tambayan later."

As sudden as that, I would be called Einstein when I pass the lobby and the corridors. I'd hear people whispering. I'm a celebrity. No, not yet. Until we get the scores from Trigonometry, English, and Chemistry. I never knew such a position; I was never the best in high school. I was always behind the shadows of my brighter classmates.

Four years later, I gained a cool group of friends. The prettiest lady in my course, the richest, the other cool geeks, the best DotA players. We boded well. It was a bullying group. I enjoyed the position.

Later, I knew how to skip classes. Play billiards, computer games, drink just before a major exam, flirt with anyone who would show equal attention. Vegan spirit consumed me. I had to pull myself together before all that I was investing on were gone.

And the tragedy came. I was struck with psychological distress after knowing that my grades suffered. I was so depressed. I did not eat for two days. I never left my room. I disconnected myself from my friends. I cursed myself for it was me who brought myself into that situation. I was not supposed to blame anyone else.

Two semesters ago, and I'm back on track. Unfortunately, the Latin Honor which I was aiming is now far from my grasp. I cursed the high grade requirement for the lowest Latin Honor Cum Laude, 1.41-1.60. Even if I get all straight A+s I ill be 0.04 points short. YES! LIFE SUCKS! 1.64. Fuck.

Even if I shoot trajectories of efficient projectiles, I will still be an asymptote to the Honor: so close, yet, repelling.

I will forever regret my extravagance. The times when I should have done projectiles in my Physics class and not on anyone's bed, a different one every night. The times when I became the prodigal Math geek. The times when I slept on my final exams in Integral Calculus, Differential Equations and Electronics 1.

The most that I can do now is enjoy my tenth and last semester. Those bitter moments will be a scar of remembrance. I learned a lot from those experiences. They were humbling and life-changing. As look back, I saw how Joe came past transitioning from a self-satisfying brat to a concerned and mature individual. I believe, All Is Well That Ends Well. I will end this semester wearing the black academic regalia with an orange lace -- proud and with an insurmountable amount of gladness in my heart. This is because, I have successfully got through the highest highs and the lowest lows of college. College made me a better person. College will contain my greatest social treasures. It will always be worth a walk back.

Get a life, Please!

"I'm proud in tweeting with one of my dialects; I can't honestly see a reason to be ashamed of it. I'd rather be ashamed to dictate another."

-- I would have replied this if I was on his level. But to be honest, I'm not and I will never reach that low.



I won't get that infuriated haven't I seen a tweet exactly above my last reply. We were in the middle of a good conversation -- I and Claudiopoi -- when he suddenly posted a tweet to get to my nerves.

It was racism at its radical. I got a screenshot to prove that it really happened but I'm still thinking if I should post it. Oh well. As my friend said in a DM, "...wag mo nalang pansinin. hindi naman nila ikakaganda ang mga rants nila eh. hehe :)".You know what, tama si friend eh! Haha.

Okay. I just needed that breath of fresh air. Bukas makakalimutan ko rin yun. (Kagabi pa dapat ipupublish to kaya ngayon natatawa na lang ako.)

The thing here is the most pressing concern of judgmentalism in our society. Whether we admit it or not, we still possess biases and there is still the idea of the superior versus the inferior. 

Kahit ako, pag may nakikita ako sa daan na (okay, this is just an example, hindi ito general sa aming mga Bisaya) construction worker na magpipilit mag-Tagalog pero evident naman na silang pareho ng kausap niya eh Bisaya, napapaisip ako na bakit hindi na lang sila mag-Tagalog para maipakita ng mas mabilis ang gusto nilang sabihin? May accent pa. Matatawa na lang ako.

Okay. Dahil sa wala na akong trace ng pagbi-Bisaya sa Tagalog ko, hindi ko kinakaya-kaya ang mga taong ito. Pero, kita mo: Kahit ako na nga na kababayan sila, eh may hindi magandang sinasabi sa kanila, ano pa kaya ang ibang tao? Kuha mo?

Isa pang halimbawa. Minsan I try to think na wala na ang apartheid spirit dahil dito nag-ugat ang mga malulupit na uri ng rasismo. Pero kung minsan nga pag nakakakita ako ng maiitim na tao sa TV, may mga negative thoughts agad na pumapasok. Unsolicited. Bigla ko na lang maiisip. Paano pa kaya kung nasa bansang Amerika ako, at hindi kasing lawak ang pananaw ko ng mga bumoto kay pareng Obama? Siguro mas malala pa dun.

Marunong ako ng salitang Aleman, German in English. Nung mga unang araw ko sa PR, pang-international ako 'teh, may nag-message sa akin na Aleman. Sabi niya, magmeet daw kami sa Germany. Susko, ang bata ko pa nun no! Tsaka wala pa akong pera at visa. Sinabi ko yun sa kanya. Sabi niya sa akin, (translated to English) maybe because of your color. Ok gow.

Judgmentalism is equal to colonial mentality. There is no progress in these methods of reckoning, nor is there good. By promoting these destructive criticisms, there is always false competition and passionate dislike together with meddling. If we allot our spare time in these rubbish, we could almost calculate the earnings that we could have owned had we used our time efficiently. Had we made the constructive critiques, it would have encouraged optimistic changes, giving path to advancement. Sufferings would not be alleviated in this condition, dwelling in negativity will escalate it.

To that person: If you got nothing to do, have a hobby. Engage yourself in worthwhile activities which will make your time well spent. Enroll in a gym session. Better yet try studying other languages: Medical surveys say that the more linguistics a person knows, the more it widens the avenues of the neurons which WILL actually make you brighter and smarter! If the mind is ruled with pessimistic ideas, it will show in your appearance, I bet you my billion gold coins in Pet Society. Chillax. Smile. Ok gow.

Job Interview Questions 1

Nagrereview na ako para sa board exams kahit na may isang semester pa ako. Gusto ko kasi na hindi na mag-cram sa pagrereview by November to April. Pakonti-konti lang naman kahit ngayong summer. Sort of subsob ako sa pagbabasa ng libro.

Pero, nawindang ako sa isang website na nadaanan ko, nagpaskil sila ng interview questions para sa mga papasok sa field ng Electronics. Well, medyo gusto ko ang Electronics dahil sa maraming Math dito. Gusto ko din ang design unlike sa ibang pwede naming pag-applyan like Broadcasting, Telecomms, Navigation, etc. Masyado na rin kasi napupuno ang ABS-CBN, GMA, TV5, Smart, Globe, PLDT, BayanTel, Philippine Airlines, WG&A, Sulpicio Lines and the like kaya mas maganda sumugod sa field na hindi commonly gustong pasukan ng isang bagong grad na ka-kurso ko. Kung gusto mo ring mawindang, pindutin mo ITO. Diyan galing ang questions. Ok gow.

1. Draw any shunt regulator and tell me how it works.
2. Draw any series regulator and tell me how it works.
3. Explain why the efficiency of a series regulator is better than that of a shunt regulator.
4. What are the three basic types of switching regulators? Which one steps the voltage up? Which one produces a negative output from a positive input? Which one steps the voltage down?
5. In series regulator, what does headroom voltage mean? How is the efficiency related to headroom voltage?
6. What is the difference between the LM7806 and the LM7912?
7. Explain what line and load regulation mean. should they be high or low if you want a quality power supply?
8. How is the Thevenin or output resistance of a power supply related to the load regulation? For a quality power supply, should the output resistance be high or low?
9. What is the differnece between simple current limiting and foldback current limiting?
10. What does thermal shutdown mean?
11. The manufacturer of a three-terminal regulator recommands using a bypass capacitor on the input if the IC is more than 6 in from the unregulated power supply. What is the purpose of this capacitor?
12. What is the typical dropout voltage for the LM78XX series? What does it mean?

Nosebleed ako nung makita ko ito sa pinaka-ibaba ng page. Apat o lima lang ata ang kaya kong sagutin. Siguro 8 kung nakinig lang ako ng maigi sa Electronics 1 professor ko. Windang~!

Gusto Ko Si Blogger...

Iurico. (and his comforting oblivion)

Sabi sa akin ni friend Kiro na wala na daw yung blog ni yummy Iurico (may yummy talaga sa unahan?? kras ko siya eh) siguro mga mag-one month na.. Hinintay ko pa naman yung last installment ng kanyang serye sa PnP.

Hay, tapos, siya lang ang isa sa limang blogs na binack-read ko ng bongang bongga. Like, up to the first post with matching readings sa mga komento. Oha. May duda pa ba na crush ko talaga siya? :D

Ayun. Speculation lang ni friend kung bakit nangyari yun kasi nasabi ni yummy sa blog niya: (non-verbatim)

This blog will cease to operate the moment my identity gets compromised.

Ayun. Baka nga daw may nakadiskubre. Sad as it is.


Namimiss ko rin si Mandaya. Pareho kasi kami ng lupang sinilangan. Me ganon? not so. lol. Ayun. Kasi bago ako gumawa ng gay blog eh about a year na rin akong nagbabasa at nakikicomment sa mga blogs. Natutuwa lang ako basahin ang magagaling na entries niya. Siya ang isa sa mga inspirasyon ko sa pagbuo ng blog na ito, gusto ko sa entries, yung nagagamit ko ang kritikal na pag-iisip ko. Gusto ko kasi na kahit papano mai-share na hindi lang ako malibog, may bahagi rin ng pagkatao ko na nag-iisip. A part of me who wanted to make space know whatever I have to say.

Ayun. So, kunwari socially concerned. Lol.

Sana bumalik sila..

PS. the green chair. lol. green breaker nga din pala si ateng.

For The Greater Good

A noble cause can never be defeated. It was an excursion from one my college organizations which allowed me to rekindle my slumbered talents for growing plants. As a kid, I remember that I unusually spent more hours in our backyard, either weeding, cultivating soil or planting vegetables. It was by passion that I almost wanted to pursue a career on farming.

Unexpectedly, the trip which was supposed to be all about obtaining seedlings, was sidetracked by something more meaningful.

The valleys of Agawkauin is located between two low-component towns in a northern Luzon province. Being in such state, the government can only apportion one elementary school for each of these towns. The fact bumped my humanity and I asked myself, is this true? In my current city, there is at least one elementary school per baranggay. But in the case of these towns, what will happen to the students who live on borders? How long will they need to travel to reach their schools? What other sacrifices would they have to make in order to learn lessons every day for the next schoolyears until they graduate? Will it be possible for them to resume to high school or even college? Only those that I cannot speak of.

I, together with a group, extended the tour on purpose. There was a longing deep inside me, that I should do something about this. A minute, incomparable measure as compared to NGO/governmental works this could be but there was a pull. I felt like, I belong, that comparing it to my previous experiences, it is miles from similar but the problem is present and cannot be denied.

On the first day of the extension, I interviewed the youth from the borders. I had the journalistic spirit of documenting the stuff but I felt that it will just overrate if not sensationalize my cause. I asked them the routines that they had to overcome in each and every weekday.

Apparently, what I imagined was true. They need to walk for almost four kilometers every day, one way. If it was concrete that they were stepping on, it would have been easy. But the slopes, muddy roads, rivers, and foresty trails gave me unsolicited goosebumps and my heart was melted with awe. These children valued education that much. I could not help but place my younger self beside these children: no, with modesty I can say that I never became bulakbol though the effort that I placed on studying was not that high, and cannot par with even 1 kilometer of walk from that place to the school were those kids go.

Reaching Manila. I realized that if a proposal of a school construction near the borders of these towns will equate to additional government cost, so will the dedication of teachers to be assigned here be a question. Not that I have negative thoughts on our educators, but at this generation there will always be pessimists and I myself can't play this big of a hero.

By the time that I get my license as a professional, I wish to set up a foundation which will focus on giving small reliefs to these children who give a great effort to get themselves educated. This of course will become possible with the help of my friends who saw the poor situation first-hand.

That could be a way of escaping taxes but I was just inspired of what I saw earlier in the ABS-CBN NCA Special Report. There were a group of guys who gave help to students in Zamboanga by gaining funds through an online advocacy. In that little help, hundreds of school children benefited and it is a heartwarming sight to see hardwork at its finest under the most crude situations.

I hope to be of little help, too. Soon.

Fetish

You were walking too fast. If I had not been looking at you, we might have totally crashed on top of the other.

Actually, I missed a detail: I was looking at your chest.

My mind is racing. I can't get my eyes off your steamy body with the exceptional attention to the cute nipples on your chest. This is why I hate going out of the house and taking a walk in the afternoon lane; I get to see a lot of naked guys either texting or forming groups of chatter.

He was still texting, oblivious to the fact that we almost had body contact. There was a plethora of inanimate projections of my lustful desire on my subconscious. I had to pull myself together to convince that I'm still awake. I am walking in an opposite direction which is away from him.

Our worlds are parallel, for his straightness will never intersect with my deceiving swagger.

Will I ever catch him again?

*photo from here.

Random Cute Guys Find 4

Subtitle: The Magkapatid Series

Hello World. I'm working on something right now and I wish to share it with you guys soon..

For the mean time, I'm leaving you with these pictures to satiate your hungry selves. Bwahahaha! :D

Extra rice sir?

Bucket List

Remember the movie Bucket List? Some background here.

This post is not very timely (please, masamang damo ako, matagal pa akong mamamatay) but I made this because I knew a friend's friend na may taning na at a young age. Well, it is sad news indeed. I cannot believe kasi he's young, on the early twenties.

I formulated this list since Sunday and I haven't added up anything yet. The list of the things that I'd want to accomplish before I leave this earth.

• ice skate in Antarctica
• witness the Aurora Borealis/ Aurora Australis
• cross the Atlantic with a Carnival cruise ship
• sky dive
• to finish an autobiography
• climb Mt. Apo's peak
• shop at Beverly Hills
• dine in executive restaurants in Spain, France and Italy
• have a blonde fling
• to play a song with the accompaniment of the golden harp
• touch the surface of the Mona Lisa
• take a picture of me in front of an Arabic palace (which is impossible)
• to pilot an Air Force plane
• go to the tombs of Shakespeare, Aristotle, William Marrion Branham and Albert Einstein
• see at least one of the 7 wonders of the Ancient World
• take the trans-Siberian train
• meet Jennifer Garner
• play the piano with Yiruma
• have a son
• try the wonders of Accupuncture
• watch an Olympic or a World Cup game.
• cross a portion of the Bermuda Triangle
• drive a Pagani or Ferrari at racing speed
• eat the most expensive chocolate or drink the most expensive red wine.
• stay for three days in the Presidential suite of Dusit Thani Hotel in Pattaya, Thailand
• spend a day at the Harry Potter Theme Park

I might add up some things pag may naisip pa ako.

New Love??

Katext ko si John Edward for more or less three months na. Simula nung una pa lang kaming magkatext nakaramdam na ako na nagpaparamdam siya sa akin. Sabi niya, ang sarap ko daw katext, at ako lang daw ang nakakatext niya ng sobrang frequent for the past year. By the way, sa PR ko rin nakilala itong si John.

Kinilig si aketch. Wahaha.

About a month ago, lagi na siyang may "mwuah" sa mga texts. Natatawa ako sa sarili ko, because I dunno if its an indication of something. Para kaming pseudo-boyfriends.

Natutuwa na ako sa threads ng texts namin at gusto ko lang i-share. lolz

Oo, hahalikan kita pag nagkita tayo. Wahaha. :D Talandi. Dahil birthday mo bukas. :)


Nung isang araw naman, nagchat pa kami at c2c (oi, hindi to bastos ah. wholesome akez. NEVER pa akong nakipagjakol sa cam choz!) at wala lang, kinilig lang ako, di pa kami nagkikita at bukod sa pics ay first time ko siya makita na gumagalaw. Naks naman.

Haha, unsolicited screenshot! :)

___________

Paepal na PS lang. May nanliligaw sa akin, three months na rin. Nung last weeks nung last semester, lagi niya ako sinusundo sa school. Tawagin natin siya sa codename na Carboi.

Napaka-generous nitong si Carboi. Binibigyan niya ako ng chocolates, food, at kung anik anik na treat. Nung unang araw namin na magkita, nag-dinner kami sa Tiendesitas and right after that pumunta kami sa Banapple sa Katips tapos Bo's. Lahat libre niya pati drive home.

Anyway. Okay naman sa panlasa ko itong si Carboi. Maputi siya at may braces at professional type. Mas maliit nga lang saken ng kaunti. Pero ayoko sa kanya. Kasi may gusto na akong iba. At yun ay si John. Kahit walang something na binibigay sa akin si John ay mas mahal ko siya Ate Charing. Mayaman itong si Carboi ngunit tama nga sila, hindi mo kayang bilhin at i-impersonate ang tunay na pagmamahal..

Lately ay nagbakasyon sa SG itong si Carboi at bumili pa ng iPad 2. He already. Siya na! Gusto ko sanang hiritan, sana binilhan mo rin ako. Because I know, bibilhan niya talaga ako. Kaya ko sinasabi dahil dapat ay kasama ako sa trip na yun. Pero hindi ko tinanggap ang tickets right after na...

Nasabi ko na kay Carboi na kuya lang talaga ang tingin ko sa knya ngunit hindi niya ito tinatanggap at lalo pa siyang nagpaparamdam sa mga texts like, I complete him daw chorva. Pyutchang kinamis! Hindi ko keri ang magpaasa ng tao pero di ko na alam ang gagawin ko para maidispatcha na siya.

Basta ang alam ko ay special ang pagtingin ko kay John and I wish na may mapuntahan ang relationship namin...

Not-So-Straight Stuff

I dunno if it's just that an Engineering course got me closer to lots and lots of boys. I've been used to the company of boys (nalumos na ko sa kadaghan), and I just need to move around like any of them. I play the ball game, we enjoy DotA and other LAN games, have some green stuff coming on breaktimes, sportstalk, and the talk on girlfriends and flirting.

Since most of my barkada have already graduated and are now on the Board Exams review, I doubt if coming back to school will be as happy as it was in each semester five years ago.

Nevertheless, in a schoolyear's first semester, NBA will never get out of the list. This conference, my Eastern favorite Boston Celtics was already cut from the Playoffs, so now I place my devotion to the Chicago Bulls. For the Western conference, I'm up for the Oklahoma City Thunder.

For the past year now, I haven't been in touch with the new patches of DotA and my Ragnarok accounts. I wonder how the addition of the third jobs will make the game more exciting (as for Ragnarok). If I level my High Priest up and decide a job change, it will become a Bishop.

Earlier this evening, I was ejaculating to the thought of the first time I did the deed with my last girlfriend from the university of our homeland scholars. I was so horny with the thought, I did it while standing, pumping with my hand on the ironing stand and acting as if I was f*cking my hand, while sitting, while on a push-ups position with my left arm for support, while laid down, while kneeling. GEESH, I'm a TOMBOY!

Of Storms in Friendships

I just don't buy the idea that YOU are planting these allegations over my alive-and-very-much-effin'-horny self. Apparently, YOU have no idea of what this boulder of circumstance is all about. You are my best friend for seven years now.

Oh! By the way for Heaven's sake, you never really got anything right. My PR account never had face pictures to boot. I only had pictures of my tummy and the infamous abdominal muscles with the crazy horny tattoo like that one on my Microbiograph's image. But you are accusing me of something outrageous and ridiculous. You never saw me there. You are my best friend for seven years now.

It was like a Dungbomb dropped at Dolores Umbridge's office that your sexuality has been compromised over Facebook by this out gay guy whom we've known for the same number of years. I guess I know the reason. I have been witness to how you adored my body and gave me an indecent proposal of topping you at your place via a message on my PR account. I was indeed looking for a good f*ck at that time but I was disgusted of what I discovered. The message you sent me contained two of your half-upper body shots with your face proudly smiling at the heck on the camera. I WAS SHOCKED, that I didn't open my account for 9 days just to avoid your second and third messages without me replying to the first and second.

It was a no-brainer, there was no mistaking, it was YOU. You are my best friend for seven years now.

I never did anything to compel you, to make you know that I already discovered your dirty little secret of sleeping with men: being a bottom for top guys when in bed. I understood your situation, but to drag me with you? Oh, its a very silly thing to do. I won't be with you this time, because I'm protecting my image and professionalism -- I don't want any blot or wrinkle on my name. And please, if you claim boldly on seeing me on that freaking gay social networking website, I would shake it off like a fly eying dinner. YOU never saw me there. YOU never had proof. We never even had a conversation. Not a f*cking message from me. I wanted to give you the comforts of our friendship by having a shoulder to lean on these tough times because You are my best friend for seven years now.

My Last words for YOU:  <--click--

But I guess you need to take this journey alone. You gave me so much to be worried about because as you see, I haven't been seen with a girlfriend for three years now. My preferences are on question, too. I just hope you get past these troubled waters with an unharmed ship. There is pain in my chest but I still wish you the best, fuck you!

This storm in our friendship, I guess, will take a longer time to get settled. I want you to think about what you did, because I still don't want to replace my 'You are my best friend for seven years now' with 'You were my best  friend for seven years'.

The Original Vampire: Niklaus

Okay, okay. Mahirap ang internet sa bahay kaya sasamantalahin ko na itong pag-upload ng latest stills ko. At lahat ata sila ay si Klaus ng The Vamprie Diaries Season 2! wahaha.

Look at the body... very very yummy! At siyempre, ang face value. Pogi nitong pare kong original vampire sa kwento.

(And this is the niche for me to weed out the other TVD addicts, just like me, lol, if any)

EYE FEAST ang sumusunod na pictures:

 

Kagigising lang ni kuya mula sa pagtulog... ng hubo't hubad!

Haha. Enjoy!

The Twigs of Fear

To admit, the survival of a decade-long terrorism plan laid out by the group Al-Qaeda formerly led by now deceased Osama bin Laden is one of the biggest opposition twigs that brought out fear all over the world.

According to Maria Ressa, CNN Jakarta Bureau Chief and former ABS-CBN News and Current Affairs Head, after the worldwide siege for the members of the Al-Qaeda and this organization’s squirmy tentacles such as the Jemaah Islamiyah, all possible forms of communication between these networks have been narrowly traced. Ergo, to avoid further eavesdropping, the system has been reduced to a human courier form of messaging. A detailed analysis of this methodology has been printed in her book, Seeds of Terror.

Such a downfall of communication equals an infection of major attacks.
This is the reason why, as compared to more than ten years ago, there have been no solid terror installations across the globe from AQ. The futile attempts to distraction have been carried out by their internetwork members such as the Southeast Asian leg Jemaah Islamiyah, but none of these have been fruitful enough to spread mass panic in the second decade of the 21st century.

It is still in question though, if Abu Sayyaff is inside AQ’s protected circle but the caution implored by our government to this group is nevertheless extravagant. However, to ensure that the United States has a hand on all of these terrorist groups, it has never failed to send out a “secret mission team” which of course is publicized by the partnership of the US Army and the Armed Forces of the Philippines as the Balikatan Exercises.

Terrorism countermeasure is a serious matter which involves careful and sufficient eradication from the government. Aside from the fact that a weak protection from the Army and the Police will spring more of these twigs of fear, the citizens can also play a big part in eliminating the masked figures of trepidation. Constant vigilance is the only contribution that we have against these social horrors.

As this is all about the twigs of fear, we now boil down to the vital part: its identification. All groups threatening the peace of our living are suspected to grow from the seeds of terror.

On Maria Ressa’s book though, there is a serious blow on the effects of religion to the ability to justifiably carry out crooked ideals.

This is more than just the terrorism itself, but on the adverse complexities between the Catholic and the Muslim faith. In as much as I would like to remove this from the topic, its recurrence is inevitable like the rising of the sun. I disclaim the presence of judgment. I do not judge because the people on those faiths that I know are different from those who lead the terrorism and the counterterrorism.

In the end of all these speculations, there is one thing that we wish to attain: Peace. In the future years there might be renewal of setbacks but one thing is still evident, and it is that the flame of the human spirit is still more powerful than the bashes of high caliber machines. Terrorism is a waning cycle, and acts against it are moving closer to the greater finality of this soft war.

If permitted, this post is to be continued.

waldfalks

sdndsnjsd
cjdhjdhkj
sdjdkjdsjl

sdnbsdhksdkj

sdsdhsd

ampopo naman talaga oo

walei

Archives
Getting Started
Fix a Problem
Advanced Use
Labels

sample javascript.

show <== click Here

peek-a-boo

Random Cute Guys Find 3

Wala akong magawa. I exported all of my Blogger's xml file just to have a copy of those, it's not that bad to be sure anyway.

And, it was a while since I last posted a random cute guy on the site. After the negative comments on Guy Find 2, I'll try to have more guys on the site. Kaya ang title, Random Cute Guys because I have not 1, 2 but three! haha. Standards ko lang pala ang cuteness so bahala nah! gow sagow!

Guy 1.

Guy 2. Kamag-anak Nitong Guy na 'to.

Guy 3. Ooops, may regalo si Guy 3 sa iyo, dear reader. Do not scroll down until ur ready...

(EDIT: salamat egG., excited lang ako. instead na i-scroll down mo, eto, pindutin mo!)



Cute Guy 3's Surprise

May bet ka ba sa kanila? Dali! Pakilala kita. Ching! Bwahaha. Random nga eh.

Iskolar

I was blissed by the discovery that I have once again reached the average grade required for a College Scholarship.

Yeah, Dean's List! Thank You Lord! :)

Isang Mahabang Paglakbay Part 2

Ang tagaaal!

-- sabi ni *insert bloggero here* saken. nakuha ko ang number niya dahil nag-message pa talaga siya sa profile ko para lang matanong na daw ako kung ano ang nangyari samin ni Dan. Sabi ko sa kanya, e hindi ka nga nagco-comment eh! Sabi niya naman (sa text na lahat to) na baka daw kasi mabahiran ang busilak at kapita-pitagan niyang namesung! haha hindot! peaceout.

So much for the peptalk, here is the story. Kung hindi mo alam kung san galing ito, may link teh, paki-click na lang.

Isang Mahabang Paglakbay Part 1

______________________________________________________________

"ano ulit?"sabi niya.

hindi ko sinagot ang tanong niya pero tumayo ako sa kinauupuan ko at umakyat sa 3rd floor na napakaluwag at walang tao. hindi ko alam nung puntong iyon kung susunod ba siya o hindi ngunit mas malakas ang pakiramdam ko na susunod siya.

"bawal dito ah, bat ka umakyat?" wika niya.

"jakol tayo." sabi ko. hindi ko alam kung pano ko nasambit yun ng ganon kaagad-agad.

ngiting aso si koya. futa, nakakalibog. habang ngumingiti siya ay inaayos niya ang twalya na nakasabit sa leeg niya: mapanukso, nakakaakit. hinubad niya yung sando niya.

"oi, bat ka naghuhubad?" kinakabahan kong sinabi. "baka may umakyat."

"ganito talaga ako pag nagsasalsal eh, tara na, upo tayo dun" sabay turo sa isang bahagi na may naka-stack na monoblock chairs.

ayos to ah. wika ko sa sarili ko. mukhang higit pa ito sa inaasahan ko.

pagkaupo ay hinawakan ko agad ang bahagi ng shorts niya na bahagyang bumubukol na. hinimas ko iyon at wala naman siyang tutol sa ginawa ko.

"gagawin ko rin ba sayo toh?"tanong niya. takte, painosente.

"oo naman, alangan namang ikaw lang ang masaya!"sabi ko.

hinimas niya rin si junjun. ang lapad ng palad niya. tska dama ko na magaling siya humawak ng alaga pag nagtitikol, kasi ang galing niya humimas. habang ginagawa niya naman yun, inakbayan ko siya sa likod gamit ang kaliwang kamay ko (nasa left side ko siya) sabay hinalikan ang shoulder niya.

bahagya siyang umungol. "parang may kuryente yung lips mo!" sabi niya.

natural, lalaki kaya tayo pareho. sa isip isip ko tska isang linggo na akong hindi nag-aahit nun baka yung balbas ko ang nadama nia.

pinasok ko ang kamay ko sa loob ng shorts niya at nahawakan ko agad ang ulo, lumagpas na kasi sa garter ng brief niya sa sobrang tigas. gifted itong si kuya, sabi ko na nga ba. hinubad niya ang shorts niya pati na rin ang briefs habang nilalaro ko yung ulo.

hindi ko na talaga mapigil ang sarili ko, gusto ko siya i-kiss! pero kasi baka hindi pumayag at madisappoint lng ako. baka mawala yung gana namin pareho in case na di pwede kaya di ko na lang tinanong kung pwede. pero nagulat ako ng biglang...

kinagat niya ang tenga ko! err masakit, gigil ang mokong. pero pinabayaan ko lang. sinasalsal ko siya ng left hand tapos yung right hand ko ginamit ko para maghubad na rin. pagkahubad ko ay mabilis din niyang tinaas-baba ang kamay niya sa tigas na tigas ko na ring sandata..

hindi ko sinasadya pero nung pagpaling ng mukha ko ay nahalikan ko siya! hahahaha, ang lambot ng labi niya, amoy strawberry ang hininga niya at nakakahumaling siyang laplapin! nilayo niya agad ang mukha niya at sabay sabing,

"okay lang ba na maghalikan tayo?"

POTANG INA! Inosenteng inosente talaga! Parang nahiya naman ako bigla sa sarili ko. O baka libog na libog lang siya? Pero wala ng oras para dun. Hindi ko sinagot ang tanong niya, anyway, actions speak louder than words. nag-eskrima ang mga dila namin sa laway na puno ng libog at tukso.. nilasahan ko ang lahat ng bahagi ng bibig niya.. masaraff siya! matamis, malambot at nakakaadik.. parang candy at marshmallow na pinagsama..

halos ayaw ko na iwan ang kanyang lips..pero dahil na-tempt ako sa junior niya! haha. tinry ko talagang isubo. from jakol naging oral sex. pero, since I'm a disgrace to our world dahil di talaga ako mahilig sumubo, back to bate nalang.. lubricated na siya at lalo kong binilisan ang pagsalsal sa etits niya..

"ooohhh,ukininam ang sarap..." ang tanging nasabi niya.

ilocano pala. pero oblivious na ako nun. since i can't keep my mouth from being busy, hinalikan ko siya sa tenga, sa likod ng tenga, sa leeg, sa right nipple habang sinasalsal at walang patid ang halinghing ni kups. sinabihan ko siya na wag siyang masyadong maingay dahil nag-eecho na talaga yung ungol niya.. hihi

nang pareho na kaming malapit nagrequest siya na pwedeng magsabay daw ba kaming labasan. sabi ko walang problema.. patuloy siya sa pagsalsal sa akin at ganun din nmn ako sa kanya. alam ko na malapit na malapit na siya nung pumitlag ang alaga niya at mas tumigas. nung naramdaman ko yun torpedo na siya kay junjun. medyo dry kaya dinuraan niya. ayun.. mga less than a minute ay,

"ooohhh, tanigna, malapit na talaga ako" sabi ko

at nilabasan na siya. hmpf siya ang nagrequest pero siya ang nauna.. pero naka-dalawang jumpshot ang katas niya sa ere at nilabasan na rin ako.. ang lagkit nung sa kanya ate charo. ginamit ko yun para i-lubricate siya at tila walang katapusan ang putok niya. siguro 7times yun hanggang sa maubusan ng hininga ang etits niya na tila ba hinihingal kung labasan. ako naman naka-tatlo lang ata.

hingal din si Dan. ang sarap niya tignan na lupaypay at di niya napigilang humiga sa sahig habang nakaunan ang dalawang palad niya sa ulo niya. for people who got armpit fetish purrfect ang eksena na yun para sa inyo :p

napagod din ako at naisip kong humiga sa nicely chiseled chest niya pero baka di na pumayag. nagsuot na kami ulit ng shorts after a couple of minutes tapos usap-usap muna. at that point tinamaan na talaga ako ng antok pero siya ata eh mas nabuhay ang dugo. mas naging madaldal.

"sarap ng ginawa natin tsong, pwede pala yun," sabi niya.

and it all dawned on me -- the guilt after the lustful encounter. parang sa lagay eh ako ang nagmulat sa kanya sa ganun.

"ngayon mo lang ba naexperience na may kasabay magjakol??"

"oo, ayos nga eh, sarap pala pag may kasama."bulalas ni gwapito.

sabi ko sa sarili ko talagang ayos. kung isang normal na guy yun sa Maynila baka di ko mapapayag ng ganun

"tulog na ako, kapagod eh. good night"

"ay, sige." nabakas ko ang lungkot sa mukha niya. siguro dahil nawala na ang antok niya at wala na siyang makakausap. kamot ulo siya habang palayo ako. i took one backward glance at nginitian ko siya. ngumiti din siya.

hindi ko malilimutan yun. isa yun sa mga rare moments na maiisipan ko na magtrip and it paid off really well. gusto ko sana maulit pero, hindi ako lalakbay ng ganon kalayo para lang sa kanya! choz!

Long Time, Mom

I can't write anything to my Mama but I think I will be able to write anything about and for her.

PreScript: This is long. But this is for my mom. I don't wan't to set a limit for her.

I remember when I was four to five years young, my Mama and Papa used to work abroad, though not together. Mama went to Japan and Papa went to the Diego Garcia, one of the British Territories in the Atlantic. My mom was a singer. She works in a lounge and sings Japanese songs with a band. My dad is in a band too; he gives beat to the drums.

Even if you say I'm too young to possibly remember it, but I know I was crying hard when my mom left. Probably harder as compared to when my dad left. I guess it is because I'm used with dad leaving (even up to now).

I was six when mom came back. I think my parents had an agreement at that time to have only one of them working. From then on, it is my mom who tends to us. Papa comes home every six months or worst, in every two years.

This is the reason why I'm more of my mother's son than my dad's. I tell almost everything to my mom. I wanted her to know that I am trusting her and that I'm going to grow up as the son she had always wanted.

Being eldest in the family, its hard to set aside your responsibilities over your desires because your parents always looks at your faults and gives you a hard time if you can't live up to their expectations, if you can't follow whatever they have to tell you. Everyday is a training to being a Team Leader. Everyday, you get punishments like a Commander from the General whenever you break orders. You are always expected to be better than a babysitter when it comes to working with your siblings.

This is not a rant. But its more of giving my mom all credits because she made me into a good Team Leader, Commander and Babysitter, perhaps we could also include Housekeeper, Chef, and Butler. *LOL*

There were a lot of times when my mom and I had misunderstandings. The worst of them was when I was in high school. I did something to my neighbor which pissed my mom off. What she did was to talk it over between me, the concerned neighbor, and my neighbor's mom. I was so much of a rebel at that time, that I didn't care less of what I had to say. She slapped me in front of my neighbor's family because of that. Feeling humiliated, I ran away cursing her on my mind. Later, I knew that I was so wrong. When we got home, she cried and hugged me and said sorry in innumerable times, told me to never do it again and if it hurts me, it hurts her tenfold.

We never learn our lessons once, and in the later years there have been more instances of me and my mom fighting, either because I don't get what I want which I'm sure I deserved, or because she doesn't get what she wants which she thinks is good for her. I bet in their point of view, its the other way around.

As I figure it out, my being busy and her being workaholic brought about, somehow, an enstangement of feelings. When we eat dinner, we seldom talk and I always tend to get water or something when she starts asking things. There were times when I get home late just not to intersect with her late uwian time, to avoid either her afterwork rant or paglalambing. I go to school early so we won't have excuse to talk during the morning. I don't text her except if there is something important that I need to tell her. Whenever we stroll, I always make sure my iPod is with me so I can always get away from a conversation. I answer back everytime I 'think' I have the more right explanation.

But, I also realized, that I was much of an insensitive son which grows deeper to an insensitive man. Naaawa ako pag nakikita ko siya from work. She works 8 days a week which is if you sum up all the unpaid overtime and after work transactions. She doesn't even have time for herself. She comes home late and wakes up early for the next day. She can't treat herself unless all of our needs are fulfilled. As I think of it, all that she wanted was just make our lives easier yet, ganito ang ginagawa ko sa kanya.

Sometimes, when I'm on emo-mode, I think about the things that I should have told her. Of the secrets that had branched into more complex twigs of lies and false pretense. Of the times when I could have helped but I worsened the situation. Of the times when I refused to follow even if I knew she was right. Of the should-haves which could have been one step closer to a renewal: I hate myself that I screw as a son.

However, I still believe that it resolves to the proverb All Is Well That Ends Well. I regret the times that I did not tell her my true feelings. I disgust the lies that I had to tell even if some of them would make her feel better. I hate the moments when I had to follow my wrong self. I just wanted her to know that she is the only woman that is worth my life and that my life would suck without her. I wanted to give her an assurance that I'm always here to back her up and defend her if I need to.

There are a few ocassions wherein I could have told her this but there is a brevity in the courage of my tounge to release the words. Words which might have been the only thing that she needs to hear to weaken our differences, if not erase them:



I love you so much Ma.


*This post came from my old blog and was published 8th of May, 2010. Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers in this Earth.

Lorem IPSUM

dalai lama gaqve te bruschquetta sada lignunim dvzup.

Isang Mahabang Paglakbay Part 1

Noong Linggo ay nagpunta kami sa Jala-jala, Lalawigan ng Rizal. Hindi ko sukat akalain na ang isang paglalakbay sa malayong probinsya na ito ay titighaw sa aking uhaw na tumagal na rin ng halos isang buwan.

Retreat/resort ang pinuntahan namin. Maaga pa noong nakarating kami kaya medyo nag-ikot ikot muna ako sa lugar, naghanap-hanap ng pwede. Haha. Joke lang. Hindi ko naman talaga inaasahan na may mahanap ako sapagkat pagrerelax nga naman ang ipinunta namin doon.

30 minutes ng pagtambay, pwede na daw pumunta sa rooms. Habang papunta sa mga rooms doon, nakita ko siya at agad akong nagkaroon ng interes sa kanya habang binubuhat niya ang mga silya papunta dun sa gathering area. Medyo may kaputian at para bang alangan sa kanya ang maging isang probinsyano. Sabi ko sa sarili ko "yes sarap naman dito. Lagot ka sakin mamayang gabi hihi"..

Habang naglalakad-lakad, lagi ko siyang nakakasalubong at lagi ko rin siyang tinititigan. Nagulat ako sa ikalawang beses na nagkasalubong kami ay nakatingin din siya at ngumiti (dahil topless na ako nun at maliligo na sa pool). May naramdaman akong kakaiba at nagsimula ng bumukol ang nasa shorts ko. Sabi ko sa sarili ko "wag ngayon takte ka kitang kita ka jan" lolz.

Habang swim swim si ateng di maalis sa isip ko ang lalaking yun dahil kung hindi niyo pa alam, ang greatest fetish ko ay WORKERS! tama, tama.... Muntik na akong makainom ng tubig dahil wala ako sa katinuan while swimming.

Fast forward. Kinagabihan, after kumain, edi yung iba naglalaro ng basketball, picture taking, may naliligo parin, eh humiwalay ako. Pinilit kong hanapin ang guy na ito. May iba rin namang trabahador sa lugar pero mas gusto ko itong si guy. Ngunit medyo matagal na mag-11 na ata at muntik na akong mag-settle sa isang dark and somehow cute worker nang makita ko siya! Yeah, kaliligo lang ni koya. Hmm sarap may twalya pa sa balikat. naandon ako sa hagdan papuntang third floor (yung events hall na walang tao) at walang hiya-hiya ko siyang tinawag.

"kuya lika dito"
napakunot noo siya pero pumunta din naman siya sa kinalalagyan ko.
"kanina pa kita napapansin" ani niya.
"kanina pa rin kasi ako nagpapapansin" wika ko, medyo kinabahan ako kahit na garapalan na. "gano ka taga ka na nagttrabaho dito?"
"tumutulong lang ako dito pag summer pero di talaga ako dito nagttrabaho. pamangkin ako nung may-ari nitong resort."
tumaas bigla ang tingin ko sa kanya at bigla akong kinabahan lalo dahil alam ko na mahihirapan ako na i-fish siya.
"ah ganun ba.may gagawin ka pa ba? usap muna tayo."
"wala na pahinga na daw sabi nung caretaker. ikaw ba hindi ka pa matutulog?o may hinihintay ka? girlfriend ba yan?" at medyo naiilang ako sa tanong niya dahil siya ang dahilan why I'm staying up late.
"eh wala naman akong girlfriend," sabi ko. "ako pala si Mark. ikaw?" (imbento ko lang yung name)
"ah ako si Dan." sabi niya. "o sige maiwan na kita at medyo inaantok na ako eh."
Kinapalan ko na talaga lalo ang mukha ko. "gusto mo bang magpaantok?"

Napangiti siya and he gave me an incredulous look. Naguluhan siya sa kaniyang narinig.

(to be continued...)

A 'Timed' Post

Here we are again, being servants of flesh and as such, bound by the limits of Strength and Time. If Eve had not chosen to eat the fruit of wisdom, then we might have not lost our eternity with our immortal bodies and the powers that we are supposed to enjoy. Then we would have not been on chains of Waiting and Patience won't have been an issue.

But it is just another would-have-been.

I would always blame my phone alarm for malfunctioning and as a horrible consequence (yeah, I treat Time with sacred divinity) I get late on my early classes for most of the time. I see this as the greatest flaw to my professionalism: To be ruled out by the Minute-hand on its way clockwise in at least 6 degrees from it's previous position. Lateness to me is a criminal than administrative offense but I commit this with great inconsideration and without self-restraint.

There might have no sundials if the Earth stood still, just like the Great Pyramid in Giza bearing no shadow on any time of the day or day of the year. There might have no sands of time which trickles down the tight-ended funnels of an hourglass if gravity does not exist.

Well, I'm not looking for a proportionality between the Earth's rotation and the acceleration due to gravity, but at a framework on the elements of which are created. Time is just as essential.

Sometimes, we try to seek respect but we don't even respect the ability of other people to compromise with us. And on most of the 'sometimes', this comes in as early as the first impression of arriving on time. We try to care about several other physical matters when values and manners are the things intelligent people use to measure other people on the basis of personality.

I believe that if I introspect further, I will see that I never became a late person, nor was I judgmental. Not until I knew people who defied all my rules on values. But this time of silence is a chance for me to recreate my lost firmness. I must not let anything tarnish the ideas of palabra de honor and earliness. I must not be a flaw to my parents' and education's admonitions and I will certainly not be a disgrace to the people who believe and trust in me.

Time is a precious resource and we all have the responsibility to carry this over -- properly and wisely.

After A Bath...

A couple of hours ago, I took a bath and I thought I'd post some pics lol.

Then I just felt weird so I dabbed on my lotion and took a shot, too. haha

Like, ikr? This post is so senseless. Ang init kasi!! Amp.

Random Cute Guy Find 2

Just to preempt myself of all the fasting around, I'd better not post something dramatic and nerve-wracking. Oh well, I can't really promise to cut on my quest to look out for random Pinoy guys, not the ordinary ones, but the ones which keep me sleepless for around five minutes. LOL

Enjoy you Holy Week!

Pinoy pala noh? haha. sorry. Pero Fil-Am naman ata.

Needs Improvement

Howdy! Maraming salamat po sa mga nag-follow sakin bago ang lahat. Nakakatuwa lang..

Anyway, apparently there's still drama in between me and him and it's getting to my nerves: see, I hate drama in a relationship. As much as possible I want it strain, stress and worry-free.

After several attempts in deciphering his being dodgy to my calls and texts and meet-ups, I was finally able to extract an answer from whatever he was aching about.

I changed his name on my phone to his real name because I was not feeling good with the way he was talking to me lately.

So, is this it? He's jealous with the people who text and call me? We made a deal a couple of days back and I ASSURED him that I won't be replying to these SMSs or answer these calls.

We met up earlier and he was playing Angry Birds on my phone. Then some devil called. bullshit

He told me to answer Mr. caller. I obediently did so. I intently placed it on loudspeaker so that I won't be repeating whatever the convo was all about.

Then, I'd be receiving this message from him. FUCK.

He was able to read a message, (sorry got no screenshot for this, I'm too lazy to do it now):

"Punta ka d2 sa pLace ko."

I asked him if he read something, he said he didn't.

Only to be pestered with this issue on the dead of the night.

This Road

Is none but dark, tricky, and a difficult one to follow.

We knew at the beginning of this that it will not work unless we try to compromise. Having this kind of relationship is almost one-of-a-kind: it is not often shared (but not unheard of) and it is subjectively contradicting to the norms of our society. More often than not, the choice of leading This Road is more elaborate than a French fine dining menu, or than the preparations for a Royal Wedding.

This Road indicates a gloomy present such that it is always foreboding an unpredictable life span. Even skeptics would believe that this is as unstable as a building supported by one pillar.

However, I found a certain kind of peace in This Road and even if painstakingly, I try to resist the forces which take me to the bunker. But, it's shaking is more real than the fight that I was putting up against the insecurities. I nearly had no time to pull myself together because I already acted on a foolish instinct of guarding myself from the one who took me to This Road.

I was deliberating on the perks of the Other Road, a brighter and familiar choice. Yes, there would be no need to hide. It could be legal for all I want. But, is it really what my heart goes for as of this moment?

You would never believe the time gap between the paragraph before this and this statement. I'm in transit to lonelier thoughts and I just need a quick break but I'm still hoping to get things tended in the soonest possible time. I'm clinging to This Road, and no matter what happens, I still love him.

I guess that is just what matters right now.

Random Cute Guy Find 1

Whaa. Napadaan ako sa dummy account ko tapos may nakita ako na nakapagpatigil sa ginagawa ko:

eto pa isa mas malapit haha yum yum, kamukha niya yung ex ko na half-Greek:

shet. *drrooooooooool* lolz yummy niya! wahaha. pero may picture siya na topless, panget nga lang ng katawan niya. gusto ko kasi yung kasing built ko lang, yung medyo may tummy muscles siya wala eh. pero pwede na sa chest. whoo.

At, parang PLU siya. kasi mutual namin ay dalawang nakilala ko sa PR.

Enjoy! Ching. (haha, Soltero-ish expression, fail!)

Integrate Me with U

mali to eh. since indefinite integral siya dapat ang sagot is ln love + c where c is the arbitrary constant. waw, ha!

An Issue Common to m2m Relationships

Dati, nung may girlfriend pa ako, hindi ko natanong sa kanya kung nagsawa ba siya sa relationship namin. Kasi, kung ako ang tatanungin, same question, oo ang sagot ko. Hindi ko alam kung common ba talaga na issue ng mga lalake yun pagdating sa relationships. Kung ganun man, edi doble ang risk na hindi magtagal ang isang m2m relationship?

Yii. Haha, kinilig daw ako bigla. Katext ko siya at umabot sa ganito ang usapan. Hindi pa kami sa point na ito. Gusto ko kasi magkita kami bago ko siya tanungin at bago niya ako sagutin. Pero obvious naman na kami na. Wahaha epal lang.

Brad nga pala tawagan namin. Astig diba? may kwento kasi yan. eto:

LOL. Night! :)

First Guy Encounter

I think everyone just ought to start with their first experiences in these kinds of blog. And I will just follow the trend since I'm new to blogging and can't think of something to-go.

I was grade three then. I had a cousin who lives with us (since Tita was abroad at the time). "Had" -- bless his soul  -- because he passed away more than a year now from a motoring accident. Poor lad, ang cute pa naman ng pinsan ko na yun. His dad is a foreigner, I dunno of which descent, but he never knew him and so did we. Probably he got his looks from the dad, maputi rin naman si Tita but Filipina talaga ang looks. We call him Tisoy,  kasi maputi siya, matangos ang ilong, hazelnut ang mata, tall and you can nearly generate his built in the future which would be a muscle-ly one.

Yeah, I should have prepared a picture, imma gonna look at the cabinets and try if i could find one.

Malaki ang kargada ni Tisoy. Sa edad namin eh nakapagpatuli na siya agad. Since ako lang ang lalaki saming magkakapatid eh sakin niya pinakita ang alaga niya na tuli na. Nagulat ako kasi mahaba yun kung ikukumpara ko sakin. Dala na rin siguro ng lahing banyaga na nasa dugo niya kaya ganoon na lang ang sukat. I had the sudden urge to examine it closely and oh, taste it?

No, it didn't happen that moment. I waited for weeks. I was teasing him to let him show it to me again but he won't, saying we have house chores to do and stuff. Di bale tabi naman kami sa pagtulog lagot siya sakin eheheh..

One night when I thought that he was already asleep, I tried pulling down his shorts as he was on a lying position. Oops, no briefs. I tried playing with the thing with my fingers and whoo, bat siya humahaba at tumitigas lol. Eto na naman si urge, at dinilaan ko yun, malinis naman at sobrang puti pa hehe. Masarap pala, so i tried eating it whole. Nag-eenjoy ako then bigla siyang nagsalita. "Ikaw ha" then he pulled his shorts and faced the opposite side from me. And dun nag-umpisa ang lahat. Wala naman kasi siyang imik so it happened the other day, and then sa umaga, sa hapon, sa gabi....

He spoiled me. This is what it made me, i guess.

Jumpstart

I am green_breaker from Planet Romeo. I am one of those guys who go divert to what is usual and common.

This is my revelation. This is my breaking. This is my new cyberspace.


It took me five times or over before I actually settled for this blog. And here it is. I won't be your usual Soltero nor have I Call Center Confidentials nor a Just for Trips story to tell. I'm just sharing everything and anything that I want to tell from now on. No pretensions. From Math to a sexperience to a review.