Of Storms in Friendships

I just don't buy the idea that YOU are planting these allegations over my alive-and-very-much-effin'-horny self. Apparently, YOU have no idea of what this boulder of circumstance is all about. You are my best friend for seven years now.

Oh! By the way for Heaven's sake, you never really got anything right. My PR account never had face pictures to boot. I only had pictures of my tummy and the infamous abdominal muscles with the crazy horny tattoo like that one on my Microbiograph's image. But you are accusing me of something outrageous and ridiculous. You never saw me there. You are my best friend for seven years now.

It was like a Dungbomb dropped at Dolores Umbridge's office that your sexuality has been compromised over Facebook by this out gay guy whom we've known for the same number of years. I guess I know the reason. I have been witness to how you adored my body and gave me an indecent proposal of topping you at your place via a message on my PR account. I was indeed looking for a good f*ck at that time but I was disgusted of what I discovered. The message you sent me contained two of your half-upper body shots with your face proudly smiling at the heck on the camera. I WAS SHOCKED, that I didn't open my account for 9 days just to avoid your second and third messages without me replying to the first and second.

It was a no-brainer, there was no mistaking, it was YOU. You are my best friend for seven years now.

I never did anything to compel you, to make you know that I already discovered your dirty little secret of sleeping with men: being a bottom for top guys when in bed. I understood your situation, but to drag me with you? Oh, its a very silly thing to do. I won't be with you this time, because I'm protecting my image and professionalism -- I don't want any blot or wrinkle on my name. And please, if you claim boldly on seeing me on that freaking gay social networking website, I would shake it off like a fly eying dinner. YOU never saw me there. YOU never had proof. We never even had a conversation. Not a f*cking message from me. I wanted to give you the comforts of our friendship by having a shoulder to lean on these tough times because You are my best friend for seven years now.

My Last words for YOU:  <--click--

But I guess you need to take this journey alone. You gave me so much to be worried about because as you see, I haven't been seen with a girlfriend for three years now. My preferences are on question, too. I just hope you get past these troubled waters with an unharmed ship. There is pain in my chest but I still wish you the best, fuck you!

This storm in our friendship, I guess, will take a longer time to get settled. I want you to think about what you did, because I still don't want to replace my 'You are my best friend for seven years now' with 'You were my best  friend for seven years'.